*ST IGNATIUS GUIDANCE CONNECTION*
At St Ignatius College ,one of our core values is (CURA PERSONLIS)to care for the whole. During these demanding days and in weeks ahead,we will be unwavering in our commitment to caring for our students and broader community as we ensure academic and operational community. Like you,we are doing all we can to navigate through this unprecedented global health crisis and are mindful of our call to be men and women for others.
Parents/guardians and Children lets be on high alert of possible abuse during this lockdown. Know where your child is,with who and the games they are playing all the time
For most people an idle mind is the devil’s workshop.
LETS KEEP WATCH AND PROTECT OUR LOVED ONES FROM ABUSE.
*CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE*
Child sexual abuse is also known as child sexual molestation. It is a secret crime involving a range of indecent sexual activities between an adultand a child.
According to the National Violence Against Children Survey, it established that *1 in 4 girls* and *1 in 10 boys* experienced sexual violence before the age of 18.
*TYPES OF MOLESTATION*
-Defilement
-Rape
-Making a child watch pornography
-Exposing the genital to kids
-Indecent touching
-Fondling etc
*WHO COULD ABUSE YOUR CHILD?*
*ANYBODY*
Studies show that over *95%* of sexually abused children are abused by persons known or close to the child or the child’s family.
*ABUSERS ARE MOSTLY NOT STRANGERS*
They are right there in your house, co-tenants, family members,neighbours. Their friends in school, hostel, classmates,class/school teachers, cousins, uncles, nephew, niece, fathers, step fathers, grand fathers, imams, choir masters, pastors, confidants, security guard, maids, family /school drivers, After school/home lesson teachers, mummy’s friend, daddy’s friend, caregivers, strangers…….. the list can go on.
Please, do not ask if any of the above is possible because,there is no case of any of the above that we have not seen.
*CAUSES OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE*
. Parental negligence
. Carelessness
. Non- challant attitude.
. Peer pressure
It is as bad as *No one can be trusted*
*OTHER CAUSES*
. Absentee parents.
. Parents who do not observe.
. When the kids are not informed as to what sexual abuse is and why they should guard against it……
*WHERE CAN YOUR CHILD BE SEXUALLY ABUSED?*
✓Right under your nose, under your roof
✓In any enviroment
✓Hostel
✓Parties
✓ In their room (siblings)
✓Deserted/Abandoned places
✓ When you are distracted
Etc
Perpetrators look for opportunities.
*5mins is enough to cause a life long damage*
*HOW DO PAEDOPHILES GET THE VICTIMS?*
1.Grooming
Child grooming
Befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child, and sometimes the family, to lower the child’s inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse. -Wikipedia-
Gaining the trust of a minor with the intention of having sex relationship with them.
2.Baits
a. Emotional bait
b. Gift bait
c. Financial bait
d. Familiarity & Respect bait.
them.
*HOW TO IDENTIFY A POSSIBLE ABUSER*
A. Always trying to be around your child or vice versa
B. Child feels uncomfortable when he/she sights the abuser or when the abuser is around.
C. Easily and conviniently accept to care for your child while you are away.
D. Can be hard on the child especially if the child is rejecting his *moves*
Etc
If any of the above is observed, please shine your eyes. Or sometimes, your child might feel uncomfortable /rejecting to go to the person when you send him or her Or even go for holiday.
Sexual abuse happens among sibblings, set rules, seperate their rooms, seperate their beds.
Why should we be that careless?
Also be mindful of what your children see on the television, your phones or social media. Watch their friends closely.
*WHAT A PERPETRATOR SAYS TO A CHILD WILLING TO SPEAK OUT*
•I will kill u
•You will die
•Your mummy will hate u
•Your mummy will beat you
•Your mummy will blame you.
•Your mummy and your daddy will die.
•He could cut the child, lick the blood and says ‘ *this is a blood convenant between us ,the day you tell is the day you die* our children must know in their subconscious that these are lies.
The *SRR*
-Teach your child-
S – Shout/scream
R – Run
R – Report
*POSSIBLE SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN ABUSED*
✓Isolation
✓Aggressiveness
✓Anxiety/Fear
✓Difficulty in walking
✓Sudden drop in academic performance
✓Poor social interaction and uncontrollably display of inappropriate sexual behaviours.
Etc
*OTHERS*
✓Sexually Transmitted Diseases.
Their dressing is important, dress to cover them please….Boys & girls alike. Teach them privacy. “Do not see or touch my private parts” .They must knock and seek permission before they enter your room or another person’s room.
It is wrong to bath them together irrespective of sex.
PLEASE NOTE
*children never lie about abuse* If your child tells you someone is trying to mess with him or her…. Please believe the child and respond appropriately by reporting to the authorities… Police, NGO’s, sexual referral centers, lawyers and confronting the perpetrator or individual.
*EFFECT OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE*
-The abused child could become a *serial* abuser
– Be exposed to multiple abuse
-Depression
-Suicidal thoughts
-Stigma
-Guilt
-Lifelong psychological trauma
-Aggression
-Withdrawn
-Infected with STDs
Etc
*THE BOYS*
More often than not,we pay more attention to the girls than the boys.
For them, healing is a terrible process and if care is not taken, the walls of their anus may collapse and decay.
*WATCH OVER YOUR BOYS* Something might just be happening and you perceive not. Do not be a *hard* mum/dad. Strike a balance between love and discipline.
Give your children Sex Education proportional to their age. A child of age 2 or even less is due for Sex Eduacation.
Tell them what nobody must do with their body and what they must never do to another person be it their peer or an adult.
Tell them to *speak out*.
In the house, everyone must respect one another’s privacy.
*SDGs Goal 3: Good Health and Wellbeing**ST IGNATIUS GUIDANCE CONNECTION*
At St Ignatius College ,one of our core values is (CURA PERSONLIS)to care for the whole. During these demanding days and in weeks ahead,we will be unwavering in our commitment to caring for our students and broader community as we ensure academic and operational community. Like you,we are doing all we can to navigate through this unprecedented global health crisis and are mindful of our call to be men and women for others.
Parents/guardians and Children lets be on high alert of possible abuse during this lock down. Know where your child is,with who and the games they are playing all the time
For most people an idle mind is the devil’s workshop.
LETS KEEP WATCH AND PROTECT OUR LOVED ONES FROM ABUSE.
*CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE*
Child sexual abuse is also known as child sexual molestation. It is a secret crime involving a range of indecent sexual activities between an adult and a child.
According to the National Violence Against Children Survey, it established that *1 in 4 girls* and *1 in 10 boys* experienced sexual violence before the age of 18.
*TYPES OF MOLESTATION*
-Defilement
-Rape
-Making a child watch pornography
-Exposing the genital to kids
-Indecent touching
-Fondling etc
*WHO COULD ABUSE YOUR CHILD?*
*ANYBODY*
Studies show that over *95%* of sexually abused children are abused by persons known or close to the child or the child’s family.
*ABUSERS ARE MOSTLY NOT STRANGERS*
They are right there in your house, co-tenants, family members,neighbours. Their friends in school, hostel, classmates,class/school teachers, cousins, uncles, nephew, niece, fathers, step fathers, grand fathers, imams, choir masters, pastors, confidants, security guard, maids, family /school drivers, After school/home lesson teachers, mummy’s friend, daddy’s friend, caregivers, strangers…….. the list can go on.
Please, do not ask if any of the above is possible because,there is no case of any of the above that we have not seen.
*CAUSES OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE*
. Parental negligence
. Carelessness
. Non- nonchalant attitude.
. Peer pressure
It is as bad as *No one can be trusted*
*OTHER CAUSES*
. Absentee parents.
. Parents who do not observe.
. When the kids are not informed as to what sexual abuse is and why they should guard against it……
*WHERE CAN YOUR CHILD BE SEXUALLY ABUSED?*
✓Right under your nose, under your roof
✓In any environment
✓Hostel
✓Parties
✓ In their room (siblings)
✓Deserted/Abandoned places
✓ When you are distracted
Etc
Perpetrators look for opportunities.
*5 mins is enough to cause a life long damage*
*HOW DO PAEDOPHILES GET THE VICTIMS?*
1.Grooming
Child grooming
Befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child, and sometimes the family, to lower the child’s inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse. -Wikipedia-
Gaining the trust of a minor with the intention of having sex relationship with them.
2.Baits
a. Emotional bait
b. Gift bait
c. Financial bait
d. Familiarity & Respect bait.
them.
*HOW TO IDENTIFY A POSSIBLE ABUSER*
A. Always trying to be around your child or vice versa
B. Child feels uncomfortable when he/she sights the abuser or when the abuser is around.
C. Easily and conveniently accept to care for your child while you are away.
D. Can be hard on the child especially if the child is rejecting his *moves*
Etc
If any of the above is observed, please shine your eyes. Or sometimes, your child might feel uncomfortable /rejecting to go to the person when you send him or her Or even go for holiday.
Sexual abuse happens among siblings, set rules, separate their rooms, separate their beds.
Why should we be that careless?
Also be mindful of what your children see on the television, your phones or social media. Watch their friends closely.
*WHAT A PERPETRATOR SAYS TO A CHILD WILLING TO SPEAK OUT*
•I will kill u
•You will die
•Your mummy will hate u
•Your mummy will beat you
•Your mummy will blame you.
•Your mummy and your daddy will die.
•He could cut the child, lick the blood and says ‘ *this is a blood convenant between us ,the day you tell is the day you die* our children must know in their subconscious that these are lies.
The *SRR*
-Teach your child-
S – Shout/scream
R – Run
R – Report
*POSSIBLE SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN ABUSED*
✓Isolation
✓Aggressiveness
✓Anxiety/Fear
✓Difficulty in walking
✓Sudden drop in academic performance
✓Poor social interaction and uncontrollably display of inappropriate sexual behaviours.
Etc
*OTHERS*
✓Sexually Transmitted Diseases.
Their dressing is important, dress to cover them please….Boys & girls alike. Teach them privacy. “Do not see or touch my private parts” .They must knock and seek permission before they enter your room or another person’s room.
It is wrong to bath them together irrespective of sex.
PLEASE NOTE
*children never lie about abuse* If your child tells you someone is trying to mess with him or her…. Please believe the child and respond appropriately by reporting to the authorities… Police, NGO’s, sexual referral centers, lawyers and confronting the perpetrator or individual.
*EFFECT OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE*
-The abused child could become a *serial* abuser
– Be exposed to multiple abuse
-Depression
-Suicidal thoughts
-Stigma
-Guilt
-Lifelong psychological trauma
-Aggression
-Withdrawn
-Infected with STD s
Etc
*THE BOYS*
More often than not,we pay more attention to the girls than the boys.
For them, healing is a terrible process and if care is not taken, the walls of their anus may collapse and decay.
*WATCH OVER YOUR BOYS* Something might just be happening and you perceive not. Do not be a *hard* mum/dad. Strike a balance between love and discipline.
Give your children Sex Education proportional to their age. A child of age 2 or even less is due for Sex Education.
Tell them what nobody must do with their body and what they must never do to another person be it their peer or an adult.
Tell them to *speak out*.
In the house, everyone must respect one another’s privacy.
*SDGs Goal 3: Good Health and Well being*